PART 02: READY? AIM! // ASSOCIATES

04 Understand Your Associates’ Perspectives

Do you really know the people you interact with? Do you know where they are coming from and where they are heading?

Each of your associates enters the discussion with a slightly or radically different perspective. These perspectives are not always articulated explicitly, but they affect the course of the conversation 100% of the time. We can try to uncover the difference in perspectives during our interaction, but this is not the optimal approach. Understanding our associates before the discussion helps us design more effective communication flows. 

To understand the perspective of each of our associates, we must address three aspects. The first is their mission. As we saw, it is not rare for our associates to have additional, complementary, orthogonal, or conflicting missions. When missions are misaligned, we should define a shared mission or determine how the different missions interact. This alignment of missions can evolve into an essential preliminary discussion. However, even if the differences are subtle and do not require such alignment, they can come into play during the conversation. We must remain aware of these differences throughout the communication flow. Acknowledging the different missions of various people is crucial for an effective conversation. 

The second aspect shaping our associates’ perspectives is language: the terminology they use, the level of details or abstraction they are fluent with, and the domain in which they feel most comfortable. When we wish to interact and co-create with people speaking different languages, we must first acknowledge the difference and then find ways to bridge the gap by creating a common language or a translation layer that will enable the conversation to flow. 

I was part of numerous discussions between software development teams and product managers where everyone used the same terms, but it was evident that each group used them differently. For the development team, a Release was a technical term indicating the software was implemented and ready to be tested. The product team saw the Release as an outbound declaration: providing the customer with a working product. These different interpretations of the term led to misunderstandings, false assumptions, and, occasionally, poor decisions. Instead of using every minute of the discussion to tackle the actual challenges, we spent much of the time trying to interpret what each participant meant, and that was in the cases where we realized there was a disconnect. 

The third aspect of your associates’ perspective is their prior knowledge: the information and data they have, their experience, and how they understand the issue at stake. We must acknowledge these differences before we start the discussion to evaluate what knowledge gaps we need to fill. We must actively decide what information to bring to the table, and this decision is derived from what information promotes the discussion and what part of it is not known to the other associates. 

The fact that different people have different knowledge is obviously not a problem. That is the reason we need other people in the discussion in the first place. We aim to co-create, and there is no value in assembling a team where everyone has the same knowledge. Nevertheless, having a discussion where different participants have different expertise and experiences often requires additional steps in the communication flow. Ideally, all the relevant knowledge will be shared so everyone can process it and make use of it. 

Perspectives are not right or wrong. The whole purpose of communicating is to join forces and create something that no one can do alone. Different viewpoints are essential for that. Each of our associates has a piece of the puzzle, which can lead to misunderstandings and frustration. That is why it is crucial to acknowledge and address these differences when designing the communication flow and throughout the discussion. 

Understanding your associates’ mission, language, and prior knowledge sounds like an intensive task, considering the numerous communication instances you must manage. Fortunately, we typically have a closed set of potential associates in the context of a project or a long-term activity. Occasionally, a new associate joins a concrete discussion, but understanding your associates is, for the most part, a long-term investment. 

So, where do we start? Unsurprisingly, the best way to get to know your associates is to approach them and ask direct, honest questions. Most people will appreciate your interest and genuine attempt to understand their perspective. They will be happy to share their viewpoint, especially when they realize this will save them time and energy in future interactions. Remember, most people feel overwhelmed by excessive emails and ineffective meetings. They will gladly spend some time helping you prepare a better communication alternative because they will benefit from it as much as anyone else. 

A preparation meeting with each associate is essential when you don’t have enough mileage with them or when you are kicking off a new mission. Don’t leave it to chance. Communication flows are made of various activities of different types. Conducting preparation meetings as the first step in a significant communication flow will help you realize your initiative. When you kick off a new project, for example, meeting each stakeholder to learn their perspective will help you manage any upcoming interaction in the project context. Getting to know your associates can be a valid initiative by itself. 

Of course, once you have enough mileage and know the people you interact with, you can use the experience gained in previous interactions. It can certainly help reduce the preparation effort, but it is advisable to validate your assumptions even when you think you understand where your associates are coming from. As people and circumstances change, so do their missions, concerns, knowledge, and language. 

Every minute you spend getting to know your associates and their perspectives will help you make the communication flow significantly more effective.